Never split the difference
This book is a gem on negotiation.
Never split the difference was written by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator who after taking one of Harvard's most prestigious courses on negotiation realizes that the empirical knowledge he has gained from his work has given him invaluable techniques for negotiation.
Through exciting cases of hostage negotiation, Chris explains some of his best tricks.
Some of the lessons learned from this book are as follows:
1) Learn to mirror - By mirroring we repeat what the other person is telling us, giving the feeling that we are listening, we generate empathy and we get the person to keep talking and revealing important information.
2) Label emotions - Once you identify your counterpart's emotions, label them out loud, this way you will generate an atmosphere of security and allow the counterpart to explain his or her emotions. It is very important to understand that we are always negotiating with people and they are driven by emotions.
3) Look for a first no - At the beginning of the negotiation look for your counterpart to say no so that they feel they have control and power over the decision, the idea is that the initial no leads to a negotiation in which the counterpart feels satisfied and consequently achieve a yes with security of the counterpart and not by meaningless kindness.
4) Look for the counterpart to confirm that a certain premise is correct - By the counterpart referring to what you say is correct means that he has voluntarily analyzed what you say and confirms his understanding. Unlike what you say is correct, saying it is correct confirms that you are under the same understanding about a certain premise and allows you to open channels of communication on that basis.
5) Use inexact amounts, they give more confidence and appear to be more thought out. For example $5,718 instead of $5,000.
6) Link situations to emotions - State that your offer is that way because of something related to something that generates emotion.
7) Seek to exploit your counterparty's risk aversion - Parties are more willing to agree to avoid a loss than to make a profit.
8) Ask questions that include How? or What? In this way we encourage the counterparty's creativity so that he/she can show us the way to close the negotiation and generate a sense of control. Avoid yes or no questions, as this could feel like a crossroads for the counterpart and destroy trust, and no relevant information is obtained.
9) Analyze if your counterpart's words correspond to his tone of voice and body language to ensure that he is not lying to you, likewise, try to have your counterpart confirm a point three times (it is difficult to act out a lie three times), finally, identify